Tag Archives: exercise

Cheapest Marriage Advice Ever

jogging at beach http://barnimages.com/

jogging at beach http://barnimages.com/

And it’s not what you think.

Sure, spending more time talking or cuddling with your spouse is important but I do that already.

So what’s the best way to deal with the inevitable frustrations that come from being married, managing a household,and raising children?

The simple way that my wife and I dealt with that is: if one of us wants to exercise, the other has to let them. Simple, right?

We came to this plan after a particularly tough stretch that included stress,  short tempers, and not nearly enough sleep. As we tried to figure out the root cause of all of these frustrations, we reflected that we didn’t have any of these frustrations when we exercised regularly.

We enacted a family rule that gave us each the power to exercise whenever we needed it. And while neither of us has abused this privilege, we’ve each had moments where we’ve had to use every bit of patience to accept that is what our partner needs at that moment.

The benefits of this commitment have been obvious for our family. Healthier, less stressed spouses and parents setting positive examples for our children every day.

Try it out and let me know how it works for you.


New Year, New Hike

Count me among those who find New Year’s resolutions tiresome.  People who make a big deal out of them in January almost invariably don’t mention them by December.  Maybe the word resolution has too much baggage.  Or maybe it seems most people who make resolutions are trying to make wholesale changes in their lives, which is difficult and often doomed to fail.

So when my wife told me that the local state park was offering ranger-led hikes on New Year’s Day, the cynic in me said it was a way to grab all those people who recently decided to commit to exercise.   And yet I thought it was a great idea for our family because it was consistent with activities that we already do, like getting 10,000 steps a day.

The timing for the ranger-led hike didn’t work for our family so we chose a family-friendly hike along Cabe Lands Trail in Eno River State Park. Surprisingly, my son’s three-year-old legs made it the whole 1.2 miles. And my five-year-old daughter probably did twice that after spending the first ten minutes challenging herself to run to the next bend of the trail and back in 30 seconds.

It was peaceful being surrounded by woods.  And it made me realize that I don’t spend nearly enough time in nature.  Growing up on ten acres of land in Asheville meant that I spent most of my youth exploring the woods, mostly by myself. This exploration was supplemented by daily bike rides to the pool during the summer and weekly hikes with my family along the Blue Ridge Parkway.

Sometime between then and now, I lost this exposure to the outdoors.  Whether it is our family’s urban lifestyle, my newfound appreciation for the dangers of sunburn, or–coincidentally–my sheer hatred of sunscreen, I am now almost completely citified with comparatively little outdoor exposure.  Sure, I go for daily walks in the neighborhood and take the kids to nearby city parks, but not like this hike where I was completely surrounded by nature.  Where I could hear the water rushing over rocks and feel the cool breeze on my face.  Where I noticed the forest reclaiming thousands of fallen trees, a powerful reminder of the circle of life.

And where I could see the wonder of my city kids out in the wilderness.  D carried a stick for most of the trail and conducted an experiment on logs and trees to hear the different sounds they make.  I watched E exploring the limits of her body.  She is more active than she ever has been.  She is jumping off of playground equipment, orchestrating aggressive soccer games in our backyard, and concocting elaborate running tests that I would not have expected six months ago.

This hike was a reminder that our kids need to be active, for their sanity and ours.  So maybe a resolution isn’t such a bad idea after all.  One that is realistic and consistent with our family values would be a welcome addition to our family’s busy lifestyle.  So, this year, we’ll be looking for ways to spend more time as a family outside in nature.

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Adventures at 5 am: An Exercise/Writing Routine

I dubbed my previous attempt at focusing on reading, writing, and exercise as the “me hour.”  I woke at 6 am–an hour before anyone else in the house–in order to give myself uninterrupted reading, writing, and exercise time. And after some fits and starts, I can say that I have honored that hour almost every weekday this year.

But it’s turned out a little differently than I imagined. Because of our family’s commitment to get at least 10,000 steps a day, I’ve found I use the me hour exclusively for exercise. With a desk job, I won’t get anywhere near 10,000 steps unless I make a concerted effort to exercise.  Certainly not a bad thing (I’m averaging over 11,000 steps), but its not giving me the writing and thinking time that I’d like to devote to this blog and other projects.

So, what did I do? Expand the me hour to 2 hours starting at 5 am. I exercise from 5-6 am and then think/write from 6-7 am.

With a few drawbacks, I’m finding this new schedule helpful to start out my day on the right foot. First, the benefits:

  • It gets me out of bed. I tried to write prior to exercising, but I found that it was too easy for me to reach for the snooze button. Because I’ve already trained myself to get up and exercise, doing that first ensures I get out of bed.

  • I get writing ideas. As I start my exercise, my mind starts to unravel from the sleepiness. Ideas start swirling around in my head. If I focus on a problem, I’ve now convinced myself that I’ll figure out an answer–though not necessarily the best one–for it by the time I finish my walk.

  • It forces me to prioritize better. Getting up at 5 am forces me to be in bed by 10 pm at the latest. That means I don’t allow myself to be distracted (too much) by late-night, low-value internet wanderings.

  • I see unexpected things. This week, I saw some large white rodent of some sort scurry across the outside steps as I was tying my shoes. Yesterday, I saw a raccoon dart up a tree and ran into a friend that I don’t make nearly enough time for.  Beyond the unexpected, the quietness of that time a day is priceless.

  • I don’t feel rushed. With only one hour, I often found myself rushing back to start the day. Now, with two hours, I can exercise and still have time to do some push ups or a 7-minute workout.   And since I hate taking a shower while I’m still sweating from a run, this schedule allows me to cool down and shower before the kids wake up and things get hectic.

There are some drawbacks though:

  • Impact on others. My wife does not like the 5 am alarm. I often wake up before the alarm but not always. And in the rare case one of the kids needs something that early, I’m not available to help.

  • Meeting my energy needs. I haven’t yet figured out the right balance of food, water, and coffee during this two hour stretch to maximize my productivity and comfort.

  • The pull to stay up late. Whether its a work project or some must-see sports event on TV, having the discipline to be in bed by 10 is challenging.

I owe a debt of gratitude to Paul Dryden for inspiring me to take some of the same discipline I’ve honed for exercise and apply it to thinking and writing. Both Paul and I are constantly on the lookout for how productive creative people learn and practice their craft. What do you do?

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