Author’s note: A while ago, when I began my coaching business, I started making a list of those people that influenced me. But a list alone isn’t compelling enough so I wanted to do a deeper dive into each of my influences to share HOW they influenced me, my personal development, and my coaching. Enjoy!
Sanyin Siang is the most famous anonymous person I know. She has over a million followers on LinkedIn. She’s got the winningest coach in college basketball history on speed dial. She’s written two books and has met and coached some of the world’s best leaders. Still, it’s a fame that is largely hidden so unless you know Sanyin, you could pass her on the street and never see the tremendous impact she has had on others.
And yet if you ran into her around town as I have on a number of occasions, she will give you a big hug and spend a few minutes with you before she runs off to her next meeting or to pick up her kids. And those few minutes will be magical, with her searching her mental rolodex for people who could help you with whatever challenge you may be facing, which always happens to slip out when you talk with her.
Despite it seeming like she’s perfect in every way, Sanyin will readily admit that she doesn’t have all the answers and she faces the same doubts, fears, and worries that we all do. In fact, the part of her most recent book (The Launch Book) that resonated with me the strongest was the final chapter where she acknowledges how hard the process of writing was and how she didn’t know how to complete the book. This upfront vulnerability is missing in many of our leaders today and it is so beneficial to see her model that for us.
As we’ve all struggled during COVID times, Sanyin’s occasional Facebook posts on her engagement with her family–a garden exploration, a cooking experiment–are also complemented with her at-times overwhelming frustration at remote learning or parenting in general. Stars…they’re just like us.
This leading with vulnerability and humility are the lessons that I’ve pulled from my decade-plus long relationship with Sanyin. The only way to be a truly great leader is to recognize you don’t have all the answers yourself and be willing to share that reality. Another way of looking at it is that Sanyin is a human first and a coach (or mother or wife or teacher or volunteer or…) second and not vice versa. By putting the weight in the appropriate place first (her authentic self, her true essence), she ensures that whatever else she does will be successful. And that’s something we all can learn from her.